This is RAW. Buut Winry is just so cuuuuute ;w; <33


( Part 2 here! + picture )

Words that should not go together: Pyramid Head and fluff.

ETA: Also? Warning for "yucky monsters" in a Silent Hill fic? Er...

Old fandom is kind of old, so this might have been said before...

You've decided to write a fanfic with some elements of Alex/Bob and Alex/Chris. That's great! I like Bob a lot, and he doesn't get as much love as some of the other characters do, since he didn't appear in the actual show, just in some supplementary materials. And it looks like you might have actually read said supplementary materials before writing about Bob, which is more than I can say for half the freakin' fandom. Good job.

It also looks like you've decided (correctly) that if Alex and Bob had hooked up back when they knew each other, it wouldn't exactly be the healthiest relationship. Also great! The reason I like the pairing is because it can get so dark. Bob is not a very good or even a very stable person-- especially when it comes to Alex. In fact, Bob has done some pretty terrible stuff.

BUT... while you got it right that Bob is not the best choice for a romantic partner if you're looking for a healthy relationship... that does not make every other person in this canon a good boyfriend. Possibly better, but still not good. Especially if they are Chris, who also does some pretty terrible stuff, becomes Alex's main enemy, and racks up the highest body count on the show (which eventually includes, depending on how you count it, Alex himself).

Sure, write Alex/Chris if you want. I like that pairing, too. A lot of people like it. There would probably even be some sweet, fluffy moments in the relationship where they felt positively toward each other and were decently happy-- there are moments like that in every relationship, no matter how screwed up the rest of it is. Maybe, under a different set of circumstances, you might even be able to argue that they could have a decently happy life together. I've seen some good AU-ish fic where getting closer to Alex made Chris question and then stop what he was doing. Stranger things have been written and it can be pulled off while staying vaguely in character.

But it's wildly out of character to write these people as they currently are and in the situation they're currently in to be having a healthy, idealized, everything-is-perfect-except-that-I-felt-more-passion-for-my-ex type of relationship, when in canon they spend 99% of their screentime trying to manipulate the hell out of each other and plotting each other's demises. I just don't get it.

gah, these names are so stupid, but initials don't work...

Dear Specific You,

I'm not saying your idea is unsalvageable, but... ( Self-harming kinds of triggers? )

Just a thought.

Look, concrit is good. I love concrit, it is a glorious thing.

But there is a time and a place for it.

We're a pretty fringe fandom especially the fic side of things and concrit just kinda doesn't exist here. We have pretty awesome writers, beta readers are ubiquitous, but concrit exists only in theory. There has been much hand-wringing and attempts to try and provide safe spaces for it to happen with varying degrees of success. But in general it's hard to find.

You want to bring more concrit to this fandom? Brilliant. I think it's wonderful and could really add something.

But anonymous holiday fic exchanges? Not so much the place.

It's like secret santa. Everyone stands around and opens their presents and everyone's happy. I don't care if you think it's the tackiest sweater in the world, I don't even care if it IS the tackiest sweater in the world. The recipient liked it and mentioning all the things wrong with just comes off as really rude.

You want to give concrit on this piece of writing? At least wait until the author reveal, or until they repost it under their own name, send them a private message, something like that.

It doesn't matter if it's the most insightful piece of concrit in the world, you made the author look inadequate and the recipient feel awkward. And that's no fun for anyone.

Moonlight crossover writer - Josef's surname is Kostan. Not Konstantin. (Where did all those extra letters even come from?)

It took me about three seconds to check that on imdb. If you can't be bothered to do enough research to even get the character's name right, I shudder to think how you might have butchered his characterisation.

I've seen this in a few different fandoms and it's confused me every time, why do some writers think that sex will cause a person to speak another language even if they don't speak that language?

Example: Giovani has an Italian name, his grandparents came to the US from Italy, he wears Itlaian suits, he loves Italian food, he says "Ciao" and calls his girlfriend "bella". [He probably speaks a bit of converational Italian, has some food related language and knows some terms of endearment.]

How does that translate to him lapsing into Italian whenever he's in bed with someone? I understand he's extra sexy when he speaks Italian but the dude speaks English (not Italian); he's fluent in English (not Italian); he thinks in English (not Italian).

Now this of course varies by character but I've seen it even when canon out right says that someone doesn't speak their ancestral language. [Even in canons that have a running joke about how poorly the character speaks when they try.]

I know this is totally YMMV, because people keep writing it, but what the hell.

It's been said here before regarding dialect accents: Don't write them out. Write accurate phrasing, yes, absolutely. If a word is completely different — ach, perhaps — that's fine, but take it easy and lay off the apostrophes. I can figure out that Rose's pronunciation is closer to sumfink than something, but it takes me at least twice as long to read and translate her dialogue if it's rendered quasi-phonetically, and that makes me annoyed, which makes me like your fic far less. I shouldn't need to pause every time Carson Beckett speaks to read his words aloud three times at an attempt to figure out what he's supposed to be saying. I know the fandom; I can manage to remember that they don't have RP or Broadcast American accents and adjust accordingly.

We've been there, we've ranted that.

But the one particular "dialect" rendering that will make me flail so hard for the back button that I'm accidentally emailing China?

Small children.

Small children mangle words. I get that. I even get that some people find it cute. I found it cute when my friend's toddler gave us lello for yellow and something I can neither remember nor render (but consistent) for helicopter. People can end up with special names because of this process — see Beezus Quimby, or one particularly crackish explanation for how Rodney McKay might once have been called "Marty" by his sister. But when the point isn't to explain a particular special name or make the kid unintelligible, writing in that alternate pronunciation is really annoying, at least to some of us. I don't need to see "Unca Wodney", for example, to understand that a small child might not have mastered the consonantal clusters or unusual 'r' of modern American English. I really, really don't. That doesn't give me a warm glow of affection; it gives me the burn of saccharine overdose indigestion.

I get that some people like it or don't care. I get that the writer wants the reader to go awwww. Just know that there are some readers who will instead be going "... ewwww" and downgrading what may be an otherwise acceptable or even good fic.

how I name my characters is my choice alone, my choice. I have given the issue much thought, and contrary to you I happen to know the whole story so whether I have aptly/cleverly named them or not is not for you to say. At all.

So stop the eff bitching about my "artistic wrongdoings" and stop demanding I swap names around (*) because they "just don't fit that way" and while we're at it, stop giving me "plot advice", too. And really, stop mailing me letter after letter each other chapter I post. Or even better, get the hell off my back. SHOO! GO AWAIII!

*breathes*

//
Sorry. Just had to vent at the annoying brat. I'll go now formulate a less angry yet very short answer.
(*) for the record: I have a prophet spilling prophecies in the story. His name is Logan. I also have his best friend being supportive. His name is Eli. And yes, there's a reason for those names. *g*

You know what? Most normal people don't break up with the boyfriend/step-brother who they're supposedly in love with out of the blue one night because 'I want to find out if I'm really bisexual. Even though I broke up with my girlfriend for you, a man'.

Ok so maybe one in a thousand people would do that. But one would not then start to fall for another man after speaking to him for merely 2 minutes 24 HOURS AFTER BREAKING UP WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND/STEP-BROTHER WHO YOU ARE APPARENTLY STILL IN LOVE WITH! THE DUDE YOU'RE FALLING FOR SPECIFICALLY BEING SOMEONE WHO YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND/STEP-BROTHER WAS HITTING ON ONLY MOMENTS BEFORE!

And just to add insult to injury, one does not usually get down right indignant when the person YOU broke up with gets a little bit cranky when you're flirting with the person THEY WERE TRYING TO USE AS A DRUNKEN REBOUND FUCK!

Ex-boyfriends/step-brothers do not then go falling into into the arms of their sometimes cruel, over controlling ex months later just because he fucks you and then suddenly confesses that he's been pining over you all these months but for some reason decided not to tell you. But it's ok because the whole time he loved you and let's just pretend it never happened.

And let's not repeat the process another time a year down the line. And then 3 years later. Because really, WHAT KIND OF STORY IS THIS?!

Hey, you.

I know Hugh Jackman plays Wolverine (and a very sexy one at that) but you do know Hugh Jack isn't Canadian. Right?

RIGHT?

I guess not, since you gave him Wolverine's accent. In RPS fic. Which is really sad, because I can rarely understand that. Wolvie's accent, that is.

Hugh's speech patterns allow him to say "mate" (which he has said, and sounds so cute when he says it) among other Australian slang, because he's Australian! NOT CANADIAN.

I'm honestly getting sick of ranting about this. I'm reading rps for the LACK of accent stuff.

And James Marsden? I doubt he's stuffy like Scott Summers. What, are you going to tell me next, he's TV personality trying to end racial segregation? OH WAIT, THAT'S CORNY COLLINS. SOMEONE HE'S PLAYED, NOT WHO HE IS.

I will admit to thinking he's a little like Corny, but he's not. You know. Corny. Just saying.

And you. The last time, I sort of ignored you with a simple reply of I like what I like what I like. Now I'm annoyed. I honestly wish you'd stop telling me I'm wasting my time writing mpreg, when I could be doing something more creative. Who the fuck do you think you are? Quit reading my stuff if you have a problem with it!

The admins will be giving you a written warning. I'm not the only author you've told to write what you like. Trust me, even though I've been out of the fandom for a year, there's plenty of what you like if you'd freaking look for it.

My friend unobsolete  gave me permission to post this from her journal:

~~~

There is no story at all, you can't even call this a one shot it's just like a bunch of separate combersations that dosent tell a story at all.

Thank you, dear reviewer, for showing me that you have no idea what a drabble is. And thank you for missing the point.

~~~

She said the reviewer in question is an ESL, but still! Review fail. -_-

Dear Princess and the Frog fandom,

"Y'all" is plural, as in "you all." It is not singular.

Please and thank you,
Me

this one from ranbluemoon. edit, image was a little too big so I I dont see any cut option so I just put the page. sorry.

http://file.ranbluemoon.blog.shinobi.jp/091225.jpg
Check out this flash out

http://www7.plala.or.jp/mikadukisou/flash3/hflash6.html

I'm delighted you wrote this fic, don't get me wrong—there aren't nearly enough fics crossing these two canons, and this one's pretty good. Couple major problems, though:

Canon one is a police procedural, and canon two's lead characters are on the run from the law over a lot of incidents law enforcement knows about and a great many more that to our knowledge law enforcement hasn't connected with these characters. Canon two's leads are also not stupid. So when canon one's leads bust canon two's leads, the last thing canon two's leads will be doing is talking about anything they've done that there's any chance they might not yet have been connected to.

This fic is set at the point in canon two's timeline when the leads are out of contact. There's nothing connecting lead A with lead B except their numbers in each other's phones. So how the hell has the FBI found lead B, several states away from lead A, within days of lead A being arrested?

And another fic entirely: if you find a paper with a phone number and you want to find out who the number belongs to, you call the number. Or there's probably a phone directory somewhere sorted by numerical order rather than name or address, but it'd really be easier to call the number. Finding out what locale the area code belongs to and asking if anyone can identify the picture of the individual who had the paper with the phone number is a rather less reliable way of identifying either the individual who had the paper or the individual who owns the phone number.

1. Jensen Ackles is wealthy actor and former model with a pretty well-documented affection for nicely fitted suits. See: pretty much any formal public appearance. He also seems to come across in interviews as a pretty well-adjusted kind of guy.

Dean Winchester is a drifter living on the edge of poverty, on the run from Heaven, Hell, and the FBI. He has a pretty well-documented loathing for anything more dressy than denim and flannel. See: Supernatural, Seasons 1-5. He's also possibly the least well-adjusted person on the fucking planet.

Look, I get that RPF characterization is somewhat more YMMV than fictional person characterization. I get that the RPF in this fandom tends to be a little more intimately tied to the show than is perhaps common, but Jensen Ackles=/=Dean Winchester, except in the sense that he's the guy who portrays the character on TV. If you want to write a story about Dean, write a story about Dean. If you want to write a J2 fic, write a J2 fic. Hell, write a J2/Supernatural crossover if that's what floats your boat. But for chrissake stop confusing the actor with the character he plays. If you could switch their names without it making any difference in your story, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.

Actually, that goes for a lot of characterization, now that I think of it.

2. Greg Sanders might be a flaming lunatic goofball, but he's pretty damn brilliant and good at his job. He's also not an easy guy to rattle. I get that it's tempting to turn a flamboyant character into a sobbing hysterical pansy, but take a minute, step back, look past the sex jokes and the crazy hair (and notice how he's pretty much stopped with both since he got out in the field back in season 5) and pay some attention to how he actually acts. He's been through some tough shit, and he's always been pretty levelheaded about it.

3. Teachers in the US school system are not legally allowed to become involved with underage students. Period. A middle-aged teacher openly sleeping with his fourteen-year-old protege is probably going to get in a shitload of trouble, and will be pretty widely condemned. If I call you on this, please don't go on a fucking tirade about how Americans are a bunch of repressed puritanical prudes. You know what? You might be right. The fact remains that you're writing a fic about American characters that takes place in the US, and it would behoove you to make at least a cursory effort to learn about our cultural norms before posting it.

Dear author,

( Cut for size )

Dear authors everywhere,

Labeling your own fic as "crack" makes me scroll past like it's on fire.

A thing is "crack" if it's awesome and crazy. Not just if it's crazy. And most of the time, things that are labeled "crack" are just self-indulgent and stupid--not crazy, crazy/awesome, or mildly amusing.


no love,

Reader who would actually like to read something truly funny.

All right, I concede the point: I am uninformed.

Would anybody be willing to rec me some good crack?

Dear Unspecified Author:

Look, I appreciate that you read ( I presume ) Flatland and liked it enough to write a fanfic about it. That in itself is an accomplishment, because Abbott's language (Victorian period) isn't easy to understand.

However, writing fanfiction means you stay at least a little within the realm of the original story. The original story was a light satire about shapes (2D), as well as lines (1D) and solid shapes (3D), and the 2 dimensional shapes' ignorance of other planes. It was light and pun-y.

You preface your paragraphs three times with "So get this". No. Thanks. I can read. There is no need to tell me to "get this". If you're a line, a one-dimensional line that reacts with disbelief at being told that there is are more dimensions, stretching left and right of you (canon), you're not going to realize that your world might be a circle. Because, you know, a circle is a two-dimensional shape, and your people deny such and existence. Really. And if in a previous paragraph, you talk about lines dying, and then have the lines shocked when people die, you will make your readers bang their head on the nearest wall. Your story is half-a-page. It's not hard to keep continuity there.

That's not the worst, though. Why are there Hubbox-9 missiles crashing onto Lineland?!

Sincerely,
silverflight